Domestic violence: South-East stakeholders seek stronger extant laws, reintroduction of moral education

Domestic violence: South-East stakeholders seek stronger extant laws, reintroduction of moral education
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Enugu, May 27, 2018 (NAN) Stakeholders in marriage institution in the South-East have advocated strengthening of extant laws and reintroduction of moral education as panacea to curb spousal abuses and domestic violence in the country.
They made the call while fielding questions in a national survey conducted by the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) on the new face of domestic violence in the country.
In Enugu State, Prof Osita Ogbu, Dean, Faculty of Law, Enugu State University of Science and Technology (ESUTH), told NAN that strengthening of extant laws could assist in curbing increasing incidences of spousal abuse.
Ogbu said that the constitution prohibit all forms of inhuman and degrading situations on the human person.
He said it was sad that spousal violence had taken a new dimension, adding that all relevant legislations needed to be activated to check the menace.
Ogbu attributed the menace to the harsh economic situation as well as the underlying cultural factor which seemed to accord more importance to men in the society.
“A hungry man is an angry man. What do you expect when people find it difficult to pick their bills; there will always be a transfer of aggression.
“Morality is also going down. It is either the man is going after women or the woman is going after men.
“Under Igbo culture, it is believed that a man is at liberty to chastise his wife and till now that culture has not changed much,” Ogbu said.
Ogbu said the influence of the social media could not also be wished away, adding that most contents are based on tragedy and amorous lifestyles.
He said that the only solution to the menace was the strict protection of human dignity.
Mr Jonas Ihezue, an artist in Enugu, blamed the tide on `the Affirmative Action’, which seek to empower women to be at par with their male counterparts.
He said the prevailing circumstance seemed to have eroded the headship of the man in the home, adding that the notion that “all sexes are equal is a major factor’’.
“God made man the head of a family and also recognised him in the congregation ahead of women.
“In the olden days when women did not go to school they were always humble and submissive to their husbands but today they have been exposed to measure up with men.
“An educated woman finds it difficult to marry non- educated man except for their money. When such happens they will like to be the head of the family,” Ihezue said.
He said that violence against men started with the women activists and it ought to be stopped by them.
“Let the activists go back and call their women to order,” Ihezue said.
In Awka, respondents advocated re-introduction of civic and moral education as a way to promote good morals to stem the tides of rising cases of domestic violence in the society.
Rev. Fr. John Bosco Okorie, Parish Priest, St. Theresa Catholic Church, Nibo in Awka South, said that spousal violence was on the increase because of decline in morals and lack of basic knowledge on what couples really need to know in home management.
Okorie said because of ignorance, little matters snowball to misunderstanding between couples and end up in conflict and divorce.
The cleric, who noted that relationship between husbands and wives should be like that between Jesus Christ and the church, said that love should be at the centre point of every relationship.
He recommended that intending couples should first undergo marriage counseling to prepare them on how to face life challenges.
“The essence of marriage is that whosoever you resolve to marry has been your life partner that whether in good or bad until death separates both of you,’’ Okorie said.
Mr Austin Nwana, a legal practitioner, blamed the spate on economic hardship and lack of good moral upbringing.
Nwana said that government should do more to emphasise the teaching of civic and moral in primary and secondary schools in the country, adding that if children are properly trained, they mature into responsible adults.
“Hardly could you visit any Customary court in Anambra without hearing cases on misunderstanding between family members, especially husbands and wives,’’ Nwana said.
Nwana said that most women lack the spirit to endure when things were not moving normal, saying “with the obvious economic hardship, people losing their jobs, businesses closing, government and religious bodies should evolve measures to check domestic violence’’.
He also advised that people should find time to visit recreational centres, especially during the weekends to relax and shelve off stress that most times end up into conflict.
A divorcee, Ms Uche Ibekwe, said she left her husband after five years because of frequent battering from her estranged husband.
“My former husband was a smoker, womaniser, and a drunk and hardly provides money for the upkeep of the home.
“In spite these obvious negative lifestyle, before I could speak on any of these misconduct, he would give me beating of my life,’’ Ibekwe said.
In Abakaliki, a clinical psychologist, Dr Clement Onya, attributed the incidences to poor child upbringing.
Onya, a lecturer in the Department of Psychology, Ebonyi State University (EBSU), also told NAN that spousal violence was destroying family values and the sanctity of marriage.
He said the development had given rise to children who grew up without proper home training, who lack formal education and later become nuisance and menace to the society.
He, therefore, called for efforts, strategies and programmes to address the disturbing social problem, which he said, were spreading like a ‘wild fire’.
Similarly, Dr Amos Nnachi of Sociology and Social Works Department, EBSU, decried the spousal violence resulting in deaths.
He warned of looming dangers this posed to the family unit as foundation of society unless conscious efforts were made to contain the social vice.
The sociologist said statistics on domestic violence in Nigeria was shocking, and explained that reports released by the National Population Commission (NPC) in 2009 revealed that Nigeria had one of the highest rates of domestic violence in Africa.
“It is sad that as many as two thirds of Nigerian women are believed to experience physical, sexual and psychological abuse at the hands of their husbands.
“The trend has now changed as men now suffer domestic violence in the hands of their wives.
“Victims of domestic violence cuts across age, social, cultural, economic and educational background,” Nnachi said.
Nnachi said that a small scale study conducted in Oyo and Lagos States indicated that 65 per cent of educated women were abused and 56 per cent of blue collar or market women experience similar attacks.
Nnachi said that ‘The African Journal of Reproductive Health’ in 2005 referred to Nigerian men thus “a husband who has the liberty to ‘violate and batter’ his wife if he feels she has not adequately fulfilled her obligations”.
He added that Amnesty International called Nigeria’s rate of domestic violence ‘shocking’ and had urged governments at all levels to do something to stem the violence that rises on daily basis.
“Domestic violence affects not just the victim but indirectly all those who witness the violence; children, family, relatives and witnesses to the physical abuse and violence.
“It predisposes the children to trauma and other psychological problems throughout their lives and worryingly, they may learn to become future victims or abusers later on in life,” he said.
He said that traditionally women were usually victims of domestic violence, but noted that women were increasingly becoming perpetrators of domestic violence in contemporary times.
“It seems the baton of battering has changed from men to women using the current violence cases in homes involving two Nigerian women; Yewande Oyediran and Maryam Sanda, whose altercations led to extreme use of weapon that resulted in death.
“Incidences of wives killing their spouses on alleged infidelity, failure to finance the home adequately, poor sexual performance and extra-marital affairs are always given as reasons for the senseless killings,” Nnachi added.
The spokesperson of the Police Command in Ebonyi, Mrs Lovett Odah, said that the command had not received reports on domestic violence where men were victims.
Odah noted that though the trend had reversed with women becoming often perpetrators of domestic violence, such reports had not been received by the command.
“Domestic violence has always been an issue of men against women because we live in a society where men are expected to be physically strong in fight than women.
“It is culturally regarded as shameful to see a woman beat a man, for a man will never be bold to say, ‘my wife is beating me’ and that may be reason we are yet to receive any report of violence against the husband.
“I am not saying that it does not happen in Ebonyi, what I am saying is that such reports have not been made in this command,” Odah said.
She said that the law was made to protect everybody, and urged men who had been domestically attacked or abused by their wives to report to police authorities for appropriate action.
Meanwhile, a marriage counsellor, Mrs Chinyere Onwe, has advised intending couples to always undergo marriage counselling before consummating the marriage to acquire relevant knowledge needed to have a successful marriage.
She also advised intending couples to focus interest on making their marriages work instead of concentrating energies in organising ‘societal’ weddings in order to reduce incidences of marriage break ups rampant in society.
In Owerri, a psychologist, Mrs Chiamaka Udemba, identified excessive need to control one’s partner as a major contributor to the rising incidence of spousal abuse and domestic violence.
Udemba told NAN that jealousy, inferiority complex and interaction of situational and individual factors were other contributory factors.
According to her, children who witness abuse in their environments and who may have been abused are more likely to grow up and become abusers.
She added that women who experienced physical violence as children often endure it in their relationships as adults believing it to be normal.
She, however, said that victim shaming and stigmatism had been the reason for the recent trend in fatal domestic violence cases.
The psychologist noted that men especially who find themselves in violent marriages were often too ashamed to make it public.
She said such men were often called cowards and “woman wrappers”, making them to suffer in silence, sometimes with fatal consequences.
She further said the culture of silence on cases of domestic act might lead victims to act out violently when repressed emotions overwhelm them.
Udemba advised that victims of abuse should speak out even when they were threatened by their abuser, urging them to identity their problems and seek help accordingly.
The psychologist further warned against shaming victims of abuse as this made them stay in toxic relationships to avoid judgment
Also, Ms Peace Dike, the founder of Virgin Heart Foundation and girl child’s right activist, said women who kill their husbands were often women who have endured abuse for years.
According to her, such women often see the death of their spouse as their only way out of a life threatening situation.
Dike further noted that some cases of spousal murder happen when the woman tries to protect her children from extreme physical or sexual abuse by their spouse.
She also said victims and abusers should speak out and seek counselling to work out underlying issues which might be the reason for the violence. (NAN)
Reporters/OFN/MST
Edited by Felix Nwadioha/Muhammad Suleiman Tola