Residents differ on inter-tribal marriages

Residents differ on inter-tribal marriages
NAN-ELS-1
Marriages
By Justina Auta
Abuja, March 2, 2018 (NAN) Marriages between couples from different tribes in our multilingual society has attracted divergent views from various residents in the FCT on reasons why some fail, while others seem to thrive well.

Some of these residents told the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) on Friday, that such marriages fail where there were interference, sentiments, insecurity and inadequate understanding of cultural differences.

Other respondents further said that respect; love and mutual understanding enhance the relationship between couples from different tribes, which further unites the diverse people in the country.

Mrs Awazi Ebitimi, a mother of two, from Eggon in Nassarawa State, said she met her husband an Ijaw, from Delta state during their NYSC in Kogi.

Ebitimi said they received a lot of condemnation from family members while preparing for their marriage due to their tribal differences.

“People are always quick to judge and generalise others based on their ethno-religious differences without giving the person an opportunity to express her or himself. ’’

According to her, they were able to resolve the issue when she threatened to elope with her then fiance, and with proper counselling from the Church they eventually got married.

She added that they have been married for over 10 years, with three children and she has no regret for going into the relationship.

Similarly, Mr Joshua Nenka, from Plateau and married to an Igbo woman, said interference from family members affected his marriage.

“Some family members were always quick to interfere in our marriage dispute, thereby compounding the issues, rather than reconcile us,’’ he said.

According to him, his Church counseling units and some elders in the family resolve the issues and warned other family members to desist from the act.

Also, Mr Abdul Adejumoh, a civil servant, said that he had no regrets marrying his Jaba wife from Kaduna State.

“My wife is a northerner and a Christian, while I am from Kwara and a Muslim. We met in school and have been married for over 20 years with five children.

“I do not regret marrying her and we both have been practicing our religion because we show respect for each other’s religion and cultural differences have not allowed any interference from anybody or the society.’’

Mr Bala Ibrahim, a banker, said mutual respect and understanding had contributed immensely to his peaceful marriage.

“Even though we are both from different regions, we ensure that we don’t cross our boundaries and we respect and seek better understanding of our differences in other to live peacefully,’’ Ibrahim said.

On her own part, Miss Promise Ekpeyong, an applicant said her family stopped her from marrying her northern fiancé, whom she met during NYSC due to the insecurity bedeviling some parts of the country.

“One of my family members was unfortunately killed in Kaduna during the 2011 presidential election; my family is yet to recover from the loss, my family threatened to disown me if I marry him.”

Ekpeyong said she had to call off the engagement and they went their separate ways, even though they still communicate and visit each other often without the family’s knowledge.

Similarly, Umar Abdullahi, a media practitioner said the family of his ex-fiancée stopped them from getting married due to his Fulani origin and religion.

“Her family claims that the crisis in the north would affect our relationship because I am a Fulani Muslim, while she is from the East and a Christian.”

According to him, they both seized communication and are both married to different partners.

Mrs Murna Imade, a teacher, said love and tolerance was the major key to peaceful coexistence among persons from different tribes.

“With love, we can conquer all differences and live or have good relationship with people irrespective of our tribal differences,” Imade said.

Mrs Patience David, a marriage counselor, advised couples to show respect for each other’s religion and tribe, be tolerant, supportive and unite to defy outside forces and interference.

“It is so sad that we have allowed religious and tribal sentiments to affect our relationship with people.

David, therefore, stressed the need for families and society to support couples from different ethno-religious background, and not to condemn or judge their decision to get married. (NAN)

JAD/OFN/EAL

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Edited by Felix Nwadioha/Ekemini Ladejobi